How do you??

Sooo I have a few questions...and dilemmas

I don't like being stuck on relationships...don't care about them...at least i use to not care but oh well...like a friend of mines say...guess I'm gettin old and boring...and contemplate relationships more now

well...I usually am giving advice on relationships...however....idk...I need advice myself...

If you want something...how do you get it...if tht person is not willing...do you leave it alone and let it slip away and wonder...or should you just stick it out???

Idk...I am really ride or die...but I feel like I need a cue to be given as to show that characteristic...b/c I don't want to show it all for the wrong person. I did that once already...not cool.

I have a lot of questions...and feel that they can only be answered by the man my conundrums pertain too...but ugh really and truly...someone elses advice will also help...though I hate talking to ppl about my situations and issues...b/c i feel like I am being a burden...idk...oh well...

My weekend was looking bright...but its dimming by the minute oh well...

xoxoxoxox AP xoxoxoxox

Slow Motion Reversed Notions

Have you ever went up the escalator, and after getting off it feels like you are still moving?

Have you ever stood on an escalator and watch people pass you, but you are stuck where you are?

I guess I been working at the airport to long...I feel like this job is consuming my life b/c I am not healthy enough...I am soooo exhausted when I get home...or maybe b/c I have nothing to look forward to when I come home...

I forgot how easy it was to talk to my first love...he has really been there for me thru sum hard times.

I feel if I reverse back into Nigga Mentality...I would lose out...what is this feeling of being afraid that you'll miss out...tho you seeing all the signs that you ought to let go????

Hmmm....well yea....I got accepted into GA State...I wanna stay there for a yr...but my dad wants me to stay for only a semester and transfer to GA Tech....oh well...idk how to break that to him...I will wait till he gets me my car...then lol...umm can't get the phone I want...so pissed bout tht...I can't get on to limewire to get back my drake...pissed bout tht too lol, ummm wat else???? I miss this guy but idk if he really misses me...he acts like he could be thoughtful and really good with communication (unlike some ppl I kno) but then....i gotta let him go...cause he is going to be consumed by another force that I can't handle....

I was thinking the other day...I want to dress nicely and go out with a nice guy...why can't I get a date??? lol...I want a relationship now...but I feel like everytime I pursue one...or think one is in the making...the direction suddenly shifts to where I can see plainly that...no, not this time...Idk...i use to have the knack for bringing guys to their knees...but I feel like I am getting too mature....and I am beginning to lose said flair....idk...ugh w/e man...maybe it's just not my time...just pray, work, make money, and get thru this summer...establish myself i guess...

xoxoxoxox AP xoxoxoxox

ugh: 9 to 5, joint pains, assholes in the work place, gettin hit on constantly....the life of a cute APA (Aiport Personnel Assistant)...lmao

Saw Reggie Bush in the airport...we went thru security check point, no stalka but dude smelled good...lol...or at least I think that is Reggie Bush.

I made a few new friends at my job, cool ppls man. But man I  be exhausted when I come home.

Hanging with sum cool cats: Christina aka "Lady K" and Brandon "TarBaby" having fun man. 

Scoping for the choosies...got my eyes on one!!! hahaha....

But my real reason for today is how to talk to a girl: (for the dudes)

Say hey, how are you, smile...

Say: My name is _____ how bout yours? (shake her hand...and say well ___ its nice to meet you)

Engage in stimulating conversation...

Try to focus on her face (not her chest or ass), you might see something you like there too (ex. her smile, maybe for starters ??!!! lol)

DO NOT: ask her if she got a man at the beginning of the convo, ask where he at (he not in her damn back pocket), use pick up lines (they are all lame), over do it with aggression

DO: talk to her, smile, tell her she's pretty or cute (or better yet compliment her smile, hair, clothing), shake her hand gently but still be firm. 

End of Talking To Girls 101.

xoxoxoxox AP xoxoxoxox

It Just Came To Me Like An Epiphany

I'm loving Chrisette Michele's song "Epiphany (I'm Leaving)"

I feel her...and the guy co-starring in her video (Drake) lol

Anyway...someone asked me to help them b/c they don't know how to deal with other peoples emotions....and I realized....hmmm....I don't know either...I just think I can tolerate it really well....I also know enough advice, and have played involuntary counselor far too many times to the point that I feel I have an answer for everything. 

I DO KNOW...I can't deal with my own emotions though...I believe I abhor dealing with them....I'd rather just detach myself from the situation. It's less painful...well for me. I now realized what I was doing to other people....

And it came to me like an epiphany...........

Karma is paying me a visit....hmmm...I was wondering when it'll come back around for me...

Oh well....it can visit...because it's teaching me alot. I EMBRACE karma!!!

I thought that me stepping out my comfort zone and placing my cards on the table was not a good move...should have stayed behind my lil levees...so to avoid drowning in too many emotions. But in actuality...it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Though my heart felt trampled on through out the process. 

WHY? Well, it makes me stronger...gave me more humility. You are weaker when you don't experience some hurt, pain, regret, neglect, and rejection. You build up immunity from these experiences...so you are stronger in the long run...it makes you a better person: more compassionate, more considerate, more appreciative...overall, ust more humble. Negative attributes however are: becoming more wary, more cautious, more shy....somewhat paranoid or suspicious. Hopefully, you get the more subtle trait of those negative things.

Well thats my Epiphany...It came to me Tuesday night. 

xoxoxox AP xoxoxox

Sometimes You Just Gotta Let It Go

soooo I haven't been on here for awhile....but I do have some sage word of advice for whoever is following. 

When you feel like you are pursuing something, that should otherwise come naturally, it's ok to let it go...now I am not condoning giving up in endeavors that bring financial or personal changes, I'm talking in reference to relationships with the opposite sex. 

Sometimes, although it may be hard...you just gotta let it goooo.

I learnt that lesson last year, and now I'm learning it again this year...just in a different situation...but nontheless a recap of the general concept of letting it go....

Symptoms that may have to result in letting go:

1. heartache

2. tears (sad ones lol)

3. constant disappointment

4. lack of communication <-- BIG ONE

5. constant excuses...for both parties

in order for any type of relationship to carry-on, in order for a family to stay together, for a company to continue running smoothly you need: (u guessed it) communication

Now Daddy's Little Girl realizes what Daddy been trying to tell her --> COMMUNICATION IS KEY....

for without it...you obviously can't open the door infront of you, therefore you won't know whats behind that door, and you won't be able to move forward!!! 

As for me...and my lesson...since I don't have the key...I'm gonna move to another door...or just continue traveling down the hallway till another door opens...or till a key is given...(hope you followed the metaphor lol)

Au Revoir Mon Cheri!!!! 

xoxoxox~AP~xoxoxox

UPDATE

It's been a while

I've been running around with my head cut off...jeez...

I am really happy for some of my girls...they gettin theres in before the year over with...hmm which reminds me...lol

Finals....finals finals finals....to tell you the truth...I'm not all that scared...or that stressed...I have accepted that I may fail the shit out of my Geo test...and it was because since I "failed to prepare...i must prepare to fail"....so I am accepting my faith in that aspect...lol

Hist 2111 --> manageable...I love history so I should be fine (my nerdy ahhh lol)

Span 2002 --> ummm I got an 89.95 in the class, I think the final and my last composition will get me into that A range.

AfAm 4250 --> Hip Hop Hist...MY FAVORITE CLASS this semester....ugh...I love my professor, he's like my mentor...well he is...and I value his opinion highly, in this class I planned my first big even practically on my own with another colleague...through that event I was able to hook with Def Jam Poetry!!! Well anyway, I can either do the take home 12 page paper exam or the in class 40 ids and 1 out of 3 choices of the 6 given essays...idk...hard choice lol

Poli Sci 1101 (or 1102???) --> I got that tooo

Tuesday I could have three exams...but I'm going to do the 12 page paper for AfAm so thats less time conflicts and balance of stress....12 pages = 6 pages double spaced...I have four already....oh ya...so I am good bee

I hope...

well discussed with one of my bestest buddies, truths and secrets....and we both have decided to hold our secrets to ourselves for maybe a later date...but we gotta reevaluate our situations at the end of this week when finals are over, cycles have finished, and less stress and bitchassness is flowing....I know i have a lot of reevaluating to do...

Ugh, I had sooooooo much fun thursday-friday...ugh "this is what college is about" according to one of my girls...Now its time to bang the books. I am already feeling the pangs from missing my UGA folks especially my bestie and roomie Christina...oh well...we'll see each other...THIS AIN"T GOODBYE...but see you later...    :_(

Imbalance of Emotional Intelligence and Female Intuition due to Technology

Ok so a friend of mines who uploads videos on Facebook talking about different issues (Look him up: Kel Kel). And he added a very controversial, yet insightful installment of his Video Saga lol.


He talked about how Americans are so informal these days due to the increase in technological advances. And it is soooo true. No longer can I talk to the boy I really like on the phone until my dad or mom comes in and say get off the phone, theres no more dating, and the courting/woeing phase is most times eliminated from the "getting to know someone you are interested in" process.

1) Phones: when you talk on the phone (like my friend Kel Kel says) you get to hear the emotions, you get an immediate and raw reaction demonstrating the true nature of a person via their voice...so much less if you were in person, but I digress. Now in College, I must say it is WAY MORE EASIER to text any and everybody...including the parents AND my grandparents. I am usually very busy and so is the next person. So now texting has substituted the phone convo. With this convenience comes, of course a disadvantage: the emotional intelligence is lost, meaning things a person would usually say, attaching a voice to name, and hopefully a face, listening to the pitch and tone to gauge the type and level of emotion being conveyed. Its a form of body language. Plus, for me as a female it is very comforting to hear the voice of my male friend that I am interested in, and its cute because you know they try to put on the sexy voice late at night.

2) Facebook: this website, which is mainly for networking and convenience of communication, has become HOLLA CENTRAL...I have had so many dudes....even females try to "Holla" at me through facebook message or chat. Not cool. I mean if I kno you seen you around thats cool, then I may entertain me, but don't try to holla at me from Arkansas, lol. Facebook is a undercover stalker network. Its irritating.

The moral of the story is that: the element of emotion is lost due to convenience of communication....

What happened to those days...when we stayed up till late...falling asleep and drooling on the phone, battery dying...but u determined to continue this convo. (College happened)

I missed the dating thing...lets go walk...something...hold my hand...smile your way...give you the cute eye...you know...

All this technology is throiwing off my intuition, now I can't tell what he's feeling, or thinking...something I was good at when we talked alot on the phone. oh well....I only see us becoming lazier as times and advances progress.

But think about it lack of communication skills now in college: can hinder your skillls for the future world at large: in terms of people management skills, emotional intelligence, communication skills, and so on and so forth. Jus Saying....

I perform tonight, a poem entitled "The Wrong Place to Begin"

I'll post the poem after I perform it...and maybe the video...idk...lol...nervous as FUUUGGGGHHHH lol

I'll be fine tho...got get up there witht the mindset that they need this...they want this!!!! (so my friend has told me lol ;)

A.P.